What to Say When You’re “Tapping” with Energy Psychology

Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP • April 28, 2020

Beyond the Talking Cure: Talk and Tap

The practice of guided change has its foundation in psychotherapy, once dubbed the talking cure.


After more than one hundred years of psychotherapy history, we count many success stories, yet the question becomes: Is talking enough? Many are turning to body and mind interventions to increase the odds of successful outcomes. 


One mind body approach to healing, called energy psychology, employs the use of talking about problems or goals found in conventional approaches, while simultaneously engaging the body as a change agent. Energy psychology methods are quite varied, involving many of the body’s energy systems and diverse ways of working with them. Emotional Freedom Techniques and Thought Field Therapy are the most commonly known. They’re sometimes referred to as “tapping,” since the client holds, taps or rubs areas on the face, trunk and hands, on the endpoints of the meridians.


Rapid, effective, and lasting change is being reported for energy psychology protocols (see ACEP’s research section for information about peer-reviewed studies on energy psychology). Preliminary evidence shows that tapping while talking about issues sends signals to the brain’s executive regions, increasing arousal. This activation mediates limbic responses to stressful stimuli, thus downregulating activity of the brain associated with fear (DiRienzo, 2019; Stapleton, 2019). It is then possible to rewrite a practiced and undesired pattern by establishing a novel and desired one. Research has found that, by itself, talking is not enough. In one study, energy psychology sessions outperformed sessions that didn’t use acupoint tapping. Sessions were otherwise identical, including use of the same words (Church et al., 2018).


What to Say When You’re Tapping

Many practitioners use their client’s words when tapping, offering specific and personal expressions for optimal change. Other times, practitioners may want to paraphrase the client’s words, while maintaining the spirit of their client’s intention. There are ways you can craft the words you use in sessions to optimize results for your clients.


When in sync, practitioners and clients share a common focus and build trust, giving the client courage to face uncomfortable or difficult material. Still, it is up to the practitioner to choose what to emphasize in a tapping session, and the “tapping words” will be influenced by the goal for that part of the session. For instance, building rapport, identifying an aspect of change that is desired, or integrating experiences call for different phrases.


While each session and client are unique, common themes and processes of change are universal phenomenon that you can reference when choosing what to say. Psychologist David Feinstein created an initial framework for choosing words to tap by, based on observing his clinical sessions (See “Words to Tap By: The Use of Language in Energy Psychology Protocols”, 2019, Energy Psychology Journal, 11:1. You don’t have to sign up to access the article unless you want to. Just click download). Using this framework, you can create phrases that address these different aspects of a session: attuning, exploring and leading.


Create an Enhanced Alliance with Your Client: Attuning

To create an enhanced alliance with your client, it may be helpful to use phrases for attuning or harmonizing the relationship. Ideally, your client feels safe enough to share with you because they feel seen, heard and acknowledged. Words to tap by can focus on what is happening in the present, reducing emotional reactivity or arousal, such as I can’t seem to stop shaking, restating the problem from new angles, I never thought I’d get help for being alone, or recognizing the benefit of the issue Maybe my pain can become my growth.


Describe Issues/Needs that Cause the Problem: Exploring

When you and your client describe issues and needs that cause and maintain the problem or goal, you are in the exploring phase of treatment. This leads to a deeper understanding of associated dilemmas, binds and obstacles. The focus is typically in the past, looking at the roots of problems, such as I am afraid of becoming ill now because I was sick and scared as a child. Energy psychology techniques famously combine desired and undesired statements at the same time, creating an acceptance for what is, rather than fighting reality. One example is Even though the world seems upside-down, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Double binds can be named, like When I stay in this relationship, I am miserable, but when I leave, l can’t forgive myself. Sometimes the focus is placed in the future, such as fears that arise from reaching a goal: If I stand up to my boss, I might get fired.


Resolve a Problem, Achieve a Goal: Leading

The third type of phrase is focused on achieving a goal, resolving a problem, or creating greater acceptance of life. Words to tap by in the leading phase focus on what can be, so they are often future oriented. Your client can also bolster self-confidence, thus finding their own solutions to problems. Examples may include I can eat a normal sized meal without cravings; Even though I’ve made mistakes, I don’t have to be perfect to be loved; I’ve been through worse and survived.


Use these guidelines to shape your own creative use of language while tapping. You may discover new ways to move toward greater freedom, healing and self-awareness. Case examples of what to say while tapping can be found online and in print for various energy psychology methods, including Thought Field Therapy and Emotional Freedom Technique.


David Feinstein, Ph.D. and Peta Stapleton, Ph.D. are invited presenters at ACEP’s 22nd International Energy Psychology Conference on May 16, 2020. Now online via livestream! Learn more and sign up.


Author


Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP is a licensed psychologist in Westlake Village, California, USA. Lori is President-Elect of ACEP (www.energypsych.org), and Chair of ACEP’s Communications Committee. She is certified in Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and is a Reiki master. Learn more about Dr. Hops at www.drlorihops.com. You can visit her Facebook page for A Tip A Day for Wellness Program at Lori Hops.

By Lori Chortkoff Hops • October 14, 2026
December 1961 - September 2026 Personal reflections by Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP, Former ACEP President Shockingly, we lost a great one. Teacher extraordinaire. Multitalented healer. Introspective thinker. Generously hearted. Craig Weiner lived life with gusto, whether vibing with international creative expressions of formal and street art or cherishing exotic cuisine, deftly climbing rocky heights, or sunset kayaking with whales in the sound. Craig was ever curious for the next adventure, delighted with spontaneous encounters with new and familiar souls and animals, sounds and colors. Holding a razor-sharp memory, Craig could easily quote an apt phrase, whether common or obscure, at a moment's notice , highlighting one of his many areas of expertise or fascination. How strange indeed to be left with the echoes of silence his memory traces through our collective grief. Only months before his passing from the physical form, Craig and his beloved wife and partner, Alina Frank , were newly settling into their home in sunny Mexico, far from their home of many years in the lush wetlands of the Pacific Northwest. In true Craig style, he befriended many people right away, while sharing his antics with those at home through his active social media sites. Many relished his detailed narratives with videos from stunning desert, sea, mountain, and waters of the world. Craig greeted people with glee, with his trusted dog Bibi (aka Habibi Bear) in tow. In true Craig fashion, Bibi sometimes was carried and worn like a scarf, riding on the back of Craig's neck. Craig gave unceasingly from his soul for the well-being of all, leaving an immeasurable impact on the field of energy healing. His accomplishments are broad and deep, and can be found listed on his website . In his brief time with us, though he accomplished much, he left many dreams unrealized. It is up to us to find our way to extend what we loved best about Craig, and make it happen with him in mind. Beyond his vast curricula of knowledge and products and classes, I was most touched by Craig's unceasing commitment to excellence, deeply sharing authentically from his heart moments of pain and joy, his snappy sense of humor, and his infectious smile with a hearty laugh asking us to meet his mood with our own joy. Craig's life is honored with two memorial services, in his two homes, with beloved friends and family. And we will all be able to track Craig's eternal spirit when we hear the splash of sea life, see silver light dancing on the water, and feel the warmth of love in laughing eyes, no matter the species. You can learn more about Craig's life story and work in his own words through this podcast interview with me . If you wish to donate to a charity in Craig Weiner's name, his wife Alina Frank has kindly requested choosing Jovenes Adelante . Jóvenes Adelante AC is a Mexican Donataria Autorizada; JA is a 501 (c) (3) non profit. All financial contributions are tax deductible. About the Autor Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP is a licensed psychologist in Westlake Village, California, USA. She is certified in Comprehensive Energy Psychology and Logosynthesis. Lori is a past ACEP president and Reiki master. Learn more about Lori at www.drlorihops.com . Lori teaches online intuition classes and consultation. Check out her podcast Healing Tips from the Heart: Helpers, Healers and Guides.
By Dawn Eidelman • October 14, 2026
Widening the Circle: The Ripple Effect (Part 1 of 3) 
By Amy Frost • October 14, 2026
When people hear the words humanitarian work, they may imagine traveling across the world to respond to a war, natural disaster, or humanitarian crisis. That work matters enormously. But over many years of working with veterans, military families, first responders, community leaders, and the ACEP Humanitarian Committee, I have learned something equally important: You do not have to travel across the world to change the world. You can begin with the community right in front of you. I grew up in a military family. I was born on an Air Force base. My uncle, a Navy pilot, died in a plane crash when I was very young. Years later, my husband Tom died during Desert Storm, and the life I thought I had mapped out suddenly disappeared. At the time, I had a successful career with the Department of Defense. I had an MBA. I knew how to organize, manage, execute, and get things done. Grief didn't particularly care. Eventually, my own search for healing led me to earn a master's degree in spiritual psychology. Over time, what began as my own journey became a calling to serve veterans and their families—and, increasingly, the many people who spend their lives serving others. Build Community Before the Crisis One of the most important lessons I have learned about humanitarian work is surprisingly simple: Don't just run in to help. Build relationships first. Years ago, through ACEP's humanitarian work, Suzanne Connolly, Dr. Kristin Miller, and I became involved in developing what evolved into a Veteran-to-Veteran project in Las Vegas. We didn't simply arrive with a program and tell veterans what we thought they needed. We reached out to people already trusted within the veteran community—leaders connected with the VA, Nevada veterans' services, veteran groups, and other community organizations. We listened. We built relationships and earned their buy-in. Then we introduced tools from Thought Field Therapy and energy psychology that they could use themselves and share within the circles where they already had trust. My job was not to become the center of the system. My job was to help strengthen the system that was already there. Our final formal training took place in April 2017. Six months later, on October 1, Las Vegas experienced a devastating mass shooting.  Suddenly, the relationships we had spent years cultivating mattered in ways none of us could have anticipated. I didn't have to figure out how to reach an entire traumatized city. The network already existed. I could reach the leaders I knew, support them, and help them support their own communities. Build community before the crisis. When something happens, you won't be starting from zero. The Ripples Create More Ripples Today, I continue working with veterans and their families throughout Las Vegas. I support the Rebel Vets community at UNLV when they need me, and I facilitate a monthly gathering at the City of North Las Vegas Veterans & Community Resource Center. We deliberately call it Women's Fun Day . Why? Because if we called it Suicide Prevention, a lot of people who need connection might never walk through the door. Women veterans come, but so do spouses, adult children, caregivers, and community supporters. We talk. We laugh. We practice something simple—a breathing technique, tapping, another self-regulation tool. Sometimes I support them. Sometimes they support me. And then something wonderful happens: people take what they learn and carry it somewhere else. One veteran I've known for years is now in pastry school and mentoring younger people there. She is sharing some of the practices she has learned with the young people she encounters. Others have created simple “walk and talk” gatherings in local parks or brought self-care practices into coffee shops and community groups. This is how humanitarian work grows: the ripples create more ripples. It doesn't always require a large grant, a formal program, or an airplane ticket. Sometimes it begins with a walk. Sometimes with coffee. Sometimes with one person asking another person, How are you, really? Hope Providers Need Hope, Too There is another part of humanitarian work that I believe we need to talk about much more openly. I call it providing hope for the hope providers . The people who spend their lives helping others—clinicians, first responders, veterans, caregivers, nonprofit leaders, teachers, humanitarians—can become extraordinarily good at appearing fine. They are often the people everyone else depends upon. That can make it very difficult for them to say, I need help. I think about suicide prevention through that wider lens. Long before someone reaches the most visible point of crisis, something may be disappearing mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Someone may continue running an organization, caring for a family, or serving a community while quietly running out of resources themselves. I know something about this personally. After my husband died, there were moments when I did not want to be here. I had to find my own way through that terrain. Years later, during the aftermath of the Las Vegas shooting, my own grief resurfaced. I had spent years learning about self-care and teaching it to other people. But I discovered another layer underneath all my competence and activity. I needed to learn how to receive care, too. If we want people to remain in the work for the long haul, we have to support the people doing the supporting. Why ACEP Matters to Me This is one reason ACEP has become so important in my life. ACEP gives me community. It gives me people with whom I can have conversations I don't get to have anywhere else. It gives me trusted resources and colleagues who understand this work from the inside. Through ACEP's Humanitarian Committee and our conferences, I have met people who became dear friends—and then became collaborators in doing good in the world. We support one another. We challenge one another. We remind one another to practice the very things we teach. And ACEP's humanitarian work has never been only about what one committee accomplishes. Its real power lies in what happens when someone gets an idea, finds a few kindred spirits, learns useful tools, and takes them home. One person mentors another. One project becomes another. One community develops its own capacity to respond. Eventually, we don't even know where all the ripples have traveled. That is a good thing. Start Where You Are So what would I say to someone who feels called to humanitarian work but doesn't know where to begin? Start where you are. Find something you genuinely care about. Find the people already doing the work and listen to them. Learn a few practices that can help people regulate stress and reconnect with themselves and one another. Make those practices simple and accessible. Find collaborators. Take care of yourself while you are doing it. And then give other people permission to take what works and make it their own. You do not have to do everything. You are not supposed to. Maybe your contribution is traveling to a community in crisis. Maybe it is supporting the people who do. Maybe it is mentoring one young practitioner, gathering veterans for coffee, teaching a breathing technique, checking on a caregiver, or simply believing in someone who has forgotten how to believe in themselves. Make it simple. Make it fun. Do what you're here to do. Then let the ripples travel. Because perhaps that is the deepest lesson humanitarian work has taught me: we are not here to rescue one another. We are here to build communities strong enough that we can care for one another. About the Author Amy Frost, MBA, MA Spiritual Psychology, is an educator, facilitator, trainer, coach, writer, and longtime humanitarian whose work has included veterans, military families, first responders, community servants, and those who support them. A longtime member of ACEP's Humanitarian Committee and ACEP's 2018 Humanitarian of the Year, Amy has spent decades developing community-based approaches to resilience, self-care, peer support, and humanitarian service. Image by qimono from Pixabay
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