Does this sound familiar?

It’s the New Year, and I try to set goals to improve my life for New Year’s Resolutions. I start out OK, but before long, I skip a few days, and then I stop altogether. It seems I feel worse about myself because I tried and failed. Is there anything I can do to keep the goals going well past January?

Fret not! You are not alone. Many people face this same situation when setting goals for themselves throughout the year. It’s normal to become more aware of goal setting when focused with others who are also making their New Year’s Resolutions. The New Year offers the promise of an enhanced beginning. You may have confidence that this year will be different, and will be focused on positive outcomes. But what happens when you face obstacles, or lack of motivation? Many people give up too quickly, and grow cross with themselves. What’s a well-intentioned person to do?

Number One: Know Thy Goal

The first step in solving a problem is to understand it. Rather than being overwhelmed by a challenge and then giving up, look at the problem one piece at a time.  For instance, if you have a goal to eat enjoying better nutrition, a first step for one person may be to find tasty and healthy recipes, while another person may want to imagine eating foods they enjoy, which are good for the body, whereas another person may not know where to start as they become anxious when thinking about food. Set up a step-by-step program for yourself, along with identifying ways to know when you hit the mark, so you can measure success. Energy psychology approaches such as EFT, TFT, and CEP are designed to discover the rough spots where you get stuck with your goals. Once the resistance, energy blockage or limiting belief is addressed, you may be well on your way toward reaching your goal. You can receive a freeguide from ACEPon using energy psychology practices for removing blocks to goals. 

Number Two: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!

Many people stop short of their goals because they take on too much at once, and have unrealistic expectations. Instead, try setting a series of small achievable goals that do not require drastic changes. Although it may seem boring, or that you are not making progress, most likely the consistent effort is paying off. As they say, slow and steady wins the race. After a few days of success, gradually increase your set of goals. By the end of several tries, you may be on your way to starting a new happier and healthier habit, and because it is gradual, it feels easy and simple.

For instance, with new food ideas, look for a few fun recipes or ask some friends for suggestions they enjoy. Keep recipes or photos saved on your computer or phone where you can look at them during the day, or print out some images to decorate your fridge, just to get the hang of a new way of eating. Then you may be ready to move on to writing the shopping list, or throwing a cooking and dining party in person or online. If you start to take on too much, calm yourself by using grounding and centering techniques, such as these meditations about gratitude, or try some breathing techniques. Once you are calm, and start again with easier goals and slow down. 

Number Three: Reward Good Behavior

Acquiring a new goal is not the time to launch into self-criticism and self-doubt. Instead, treat yourself gently, and with positive rewards. It may feel silly at first, but try anyway. Many people are more comfortable with stern voices in their heads rather than supportive ones, but you’ll likely go farther with a bit of sweetness and generosity of spirit. Find a small reward or fun activity you like, and give it to yourself every time you work on your goal. Change the reward to keep it fresh and motivating. Lavish with easy or quick self-care rituals, take comedy breaks by watching your favorite shows or routines, or get some fresh air. Be creative and inspired so you have fun and are relaxed. 

If you find you are still hearing those pesky negative messages, consider turning them around with positive affirmations, or address them head on with focused approaches to change, such as Logosynthesis, using words to move energy. You can learn more about a variety of other energy psychology practices on the ACEP website Resources section. 

Number Four: Don’t Go it Alone

Find others with the same goal as yourself, and make it a team effort. Choose supportive people you trust, possibly a family member or friend near or far to share the joys and challenges of moving through goals.  You may want to set up a social media online support community with likeminded folks, to encourage sticking with resolutions long past January. Sharing your joys and sorrows with others can reduce isolation, and make you see you are not so different from others.

If you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or are burdened by emotional, psychological or energetic distress when working toward your resolutions, consider finding a coach, counselor or mental health professional to give you a hand. ACEP has an energy practitioner directory you may find helpful.

You had good reasons to launch into the new year with resolutions, so don’t lose sight of the goodwill, desire for positive change, and belief in a better way of life. You are valuable, worth the effort, and with some focus, determination and finding the right support, you may turn your dream resolutions into sustainable reality.

Author

Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP is a licensed psychologist in Westlake Village, California, USA. She is certified in Comprehensive Energy Psychology and Logosynthesis. Lori is president of ACEP (www.energypsych.org), and is a Reiki master. Learn more about Lori at www.drlorihops.com.