Energy Psychology and The Forgiveness Solution: Helping a Couple Recover from an Affair

ACEP • October 14, 2021

(by Sarah Murphy, LPC) Do you incorporate spiritual principles in your therapy practice? Have you moved to teletherapy and wonder if your clients are getting good results? Are you interested in learning about new ways to assess clients’ progress? 


If you answered “yes” you have something in common with longtime ACEP member, psychologist, and author Phil Friedman, PhD. In this blog, I’ll discuss his case study that demonstrated a couple’s progress over the course of therapy using interesting data obtained by HIPAA-compliant digital tracking tools. Read on to learn more! 


Digital Tracking Measures Couples’ Success with Spiritually Influenced Energy Psychology Delivered Online

Like most therapists, study author Phil Friedman1 moved to a tele-therapy delivery model in March of 2020. Phil is a long-time scholar-practitioner and ACEP member. He has been tracking his clients’ progress using paper-pencil assessments for decades. As an assessment afficionado and longtime spiritual student, he has developed a series of psychometric scales to assist with tracking his clients’ progress, including measures of spirituality. 


When Phil switched to tele-therapy, he searched for a way to deliver these assessments online. He began using customizable digital tracking tools designed for mental health professionals, Pragmatic Tracker and, to a lesser extent, Blueprint. Both tools were easy for the clients to use, and both generate color-coded, easy-to-read graphs that visually demonstrate client progress. According to the assessments and termination essays, the couple felt increasingly positive about their relationship during the course of therapy and found therapy very helpful. They reported that the energy psychology tapping exercises; the psychological uplifter,2 an energy psychology tool developed by Friedman; and Friedman’s book TheForgiveness Solution were the most beneficial in therapy.


The Study Setup

This case study documented the progress of a couple who sought therapy to recover from the wife’s infidelity. The clients attended regular weekly therapy sessions, filling out assessments on the morning of therapy. They reported that the assessments took about 10-15 minutes to complete.


In addition to standard depression and anxiety scales, Phil added his psychometric scales to the assessment trackers. These tools, the Friedman Scales, are available for free for non-commercial use and are encouraged for research and clinical use. The Friedman Life Balance Scale assesses reflection, understanding of self and others, and self-compassion; it includes a spirituality subscale. The Friedman Spiritual Awakening Scale assesses spiritual awakening, including oneness, spirituality, higher power, inclusion, perfection, and compassion.


Study Results

The couple experienced an overall positive trend on all measures during therapy. The husband began in greater distress about the state of the marriage; the wife began in greater distress generally. Overall, the wife made greater changes than the husband with one exception (the marital measure):


  • The marriage: Both husband and wife improved in marital satisfaction (Friedman Marital Harmony scale)
  • Individual functioning: The wife experienced significant decreases in depression and anxiety (six Friedman scales); both wife and husband improved in satisfaction with life (Satisfaction With Life Scale) 
  • Spiritual Assessment: The wife improved significantly on these metrics (Friedman Spiritual Awakening Scale; Spirituality subscale of Friedman Life Balance Scale). 
  • Helpfulness of therapy: The couple began with a tepid perception of how helpful therapy would be, rating it 4.5 out of 10; however, at the end of therapy, both rated therapy as a 10-out-of-10 in helpfulness (termination essays)
  • Most helpful part of therapy: In termination essays, the wife reported that the tapping, the psychological uplifter, and The Forgiveness Solution book were most helpful; the husband reported that tapping and other techniques were the most helpful


Why it Matters

  1. Energy Psychology for couples: Functioning within the partner dyad has a tremendous impact on quality of life. The energy psychology techniques used in the study were cited by both husband and wife as among the most effective tools in therapy. 
  2. Spiritual Principles: The model outlined in The Forgiveness Solution incorporates spiritual principles with energy psychology. For clinicians who are interested in the spiritual aspect of clients’ progress, the Friedman Scales offer a tool to assess spirituality and spiritual awakening.
  3. Assessing tele-therapy: As we move to tele-therapy, it is important to understand how effective our work is. This case study demonstrates the effectiveness of tele-therapy in couples therapy.
  4. Digital tracking: The study explores two HIPAA-compliant tracking tools for therapists and found both to be easy to use and customizable.


The Takeaways

The present study demonstrates that couples therapy delivered online is effective. The tracking tools were effective, simple to use, and generated easy-to-read graphs carting clients’ progress; the couple improved on every measure. Additionally, the couple reported that using energy psychology as well as the researcher’s book The Forgiveness Solution helped them heal from their marital issues. The Forgiveness Solution incorporates, and the Friedman Scales assess, spirituality in therapy.


The full article is available free of charge in the August 24, 2021 issue of the International Journal of Healing and Caring. 


Want to learn more about the research on energy psychology? Explore energypsych.org/research. Do you have a case study of your own in mind? We would love to hear from you.


Author

Sarah Murphy is a licensed professional counselor with more than 15 years of clinical experience. She is Communications Committee Chair for ACEP and staff therapist for Unite for HER. She specializes in using energy psychology, mindfulness, and hypnotherapy in working with cancer patients. Learn more at https://transformative-therapy.com.


1 Philip H. Friedman, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and Director of the Foundation for Well-Being in Pennsylvania. He is the author of The Forgiveness Solution and Creating Well Being in addition to the Friedman Assessment Scales on Well-Being, Beliefs, Quality of Life, Affect, Life Balance, Spiritual Awakening and the Mini-5 Factor Personality Scale. Phil is an adjunct professor on the faculty of Sophia University (formerly the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology). He is the founder of Integrative Forgiveness Psychotherapy (IFP), the Positive Pressure Point Techniques (PPPT), the Practice Based Evidence Approach (PBEA) and the Digital Assessment and Tracking Approach (DATA) to assessment and change.  www.philipfriedman.com and www.forgivenesssolution.com.


2 The Psychological Uplifter was developed by Friedman and is outlined on p. 69 of The Forgiveness Solution. To do the Psychological Uplifter, rub the sore point (neurolymphatic point) while repeating the reminder phrase: “Even though I have some of this problem or negative emotion (e.g., fear, anxiety, hurt, anger, depression, sadness, guilt, shame, low self-esteem, work, marital, relationship and family problems, etc.), I accept myself deeply and profoundly and I am a good, competent and magnificent person”. Repeat three times. Then, while continuing to rub the sore point, say “I love myself unconditionally despite my problems, challenges and limitations” three times; then, continuing to rub the sore point, say “I am entitled to miracles” three times. 

By Lori Chortkoff Hops • October 14, 2026
December 1961 - September 2026 Personal reflections by Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP, Former ACEP President Shockingly, we lost a great one. Teacher extraordinaire. Multitalented healer. Introspective thinker. Generously hearted. Craig Weiner lived life with gusto, whether vibing with international creative expressions of formal and street art or cherishing exotic cuisine, deftly climbing rocky heights, or sunset kayaking with whales in the sound. Craig was ever curious for the next adventure, delighted with spontaneous encounters with new and familiar souls and animals, sounds and colors. Holding a razor-sharp memory, Craig could easily quote an apt phrase, whether common or obscure, at a moment's notice , highlighting one of his many areas of expertise or fascination. How strange indeed to be left with the echoes of silence his memory traces through our collective grief. Only months before his passing from the physical form, Craig and his beloved wife and partner, Alina Frank , were newly settling into their home in sunny Mexico, far from their home of many years in the lush wetlands of the Pacific Northwest. In true Craig style, he befriended many people right away, while sharing his antics with those at home through his active social media sites. Many relished his detailed narratives with videos from stunning desert, sea, mountain, and waters of the world. Craig greeted people with glee, with his trusted dog Bibi (aka Habibi Bear) in tow. In true Craig fashion, Bibi sometimes was carried and worn like a scarf, riding on the back of Craig's neck. Craig gave unceasingly from his soul for the well-being of all, leaving an immeasurable impact on the field of energy healing. His accomplishments are broad and deep, and can be found listed on his website . In his brief time with us, though he accomplished much, he left many dreams unrealized. It is up to us to find our way to extend what we loved best about Craig, and make it happen with him in mind. Beyond his vast curricula of knowledge and products and classes, I was most touched by Craig's unceasing commitment to excellence, deeply sharing authentically from his heart moments of pain and joy, his snappy sense of humor, and his infectious smile with a hearty laugh asking us to meet his mood with our own joy. Craig's life is honored with two memorial services, in his two homes, with beloved friends and family. And we will all be able to track Craig's eternal spirit when we hear the splash of sea life, see silver light dancing on the water, and feel the warmth of love in laughing eyes, no matter the species. You can learn more about Craig's life story and work in his own words through this podcast interview with me . If you wish to donate to a charity in Craig Weiner's name, his wife Alina Frank has kindly requested choosing Jovenes Adelante . Jóvenes Adelante AC is a Mexican Donataria Autorizada; JA is a 501 (c) (3) non profit. All financial contributions are tax deductible. About the Autor Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP is a licensed psychologist in Westlake Village, California, USA. She is certified in Comprehensive Energy Psychology and Logosynthesis. Lori is a past ACEP president and Reiki master. Learn more about Lori at www.drlorihops.com . Lori teaches online intuition classes and consultation. Check out her podcast Healing Tips from the Heart: Helpers, Healers and Guides.
By Dawn Eidelman • October 14, 2026
Widening the Circle: The Ripple Effect (Part 1 of 3) 
By Amy Frost • October 14, 2026
When people hear the words humanitarian work, they may imagine traveling across the world to respond to a war, natural disaster, or humanitarian crisis. That work matters enormously. But over many years of working with veterans, military families, first responders, community leaders, and the ACEP Humanitarian Committee, I have learned something equally important: You do not have to travel across the world to change the world. You can begin with the community right in front of you. I grew up in a military family. I was born on an Air Force base. My uncle, a Navy pilot, died in a plane crash when I was very young. Years later, my husband Tom died during Desert Storm, and the life I thought I had mapped out suddenly disappeared. At the time, I had a successful career with the Department of Defense. I had an MBA. I knew how to organize, manage, execute, and get things done. Grief didn't particularly care. Eventually, my own search for healing led me to earn a master's degree in spiritual psychology. Over time, what began as my own journey became a calling to serve veterans and their families—and, increasingly, the many people who spend their lives serving others. Build Community Before the Crisis One of the most important lessons I have learned about humanitarian work is surprisingly simple: Don't just run in to help. Build relationships first. Years ago, through ACEP's humanitarian work, Suzanne Connolly, Dr. Kristin Miller, and I became involved in developing what evolved into a Veteran-to-Veteran project in Las Vegas. We didn't simply arrive with a program and tell veterans what we thought they needed. We reached out to people already trusted within the veteran community—leaders connected with the VA, Nevada veterans' services, veteran groups, and other community organizations. We listened. We built relationships and earned their buy-in. Then we introduced tools from Thought Field Therapy and energy psychology that they could use themselves and share within the circles where they already had trust. My job was not to become the center of the system. My job was to help strengthen the system that was already there. Our final formal training took place in April 2017. Six months later, on October 1, Las Vegas experienced a devastating mass shooting.  Suddenly, the relationships we had spent years cultivating mattered in ways none of us could have anticipated. I didn't have to figure out how to reach an entire traumatized city. The network already existed. I could reach the leaders I knew, support them, and help them support their own communities. Build community before the crisis. When something happens, you won't be starting from zero. The Ripples Create More Ripples Today, I continue working with veterans and their families throughout Las Vegas. I support the Rebel Vets community at UNLV when they need me, and I facilitate a monthly gathering at the City of North Las Vegas Veterans & Community Resource Center. We deliberately call it Women's Fun Day . Why? Because if we called it Suicide Prevention, a lot of people who need connection might never walk through the door. Women veterans come, but so do spouses, adult children, caregivers, and community supporters. We talk. We laugh. We practice something simple—a breathing technique, tapping, another self-regulation tool. Sometimes I support them. Sometimes they support me. And then something wonderful happens: people take what they learn and carry it somewhere else. One veteran I've known for years is now in pastry school and mentoring younger people there. She is sharing some of the practices she has learned with the young people she encounters. Others have created simple “walk and talk” gatherings in local parks or brought self-care practices into coffee shops and community groups. This is how humanitarian work grows: the ripples create more ripples. It doesn't always require a large grant, a formal program, or an airplane ticket. Sometimes it begins with a walk. Sometimes with coffee. Sometimes with one person asking another person, How are you, really? Hope Providers Need Hope, Too There is another part of humanitarian work that I believe we need to talk about much more openly. I call it providing hope for the hope providers . The people who spend their lives helping others—clinicians, first responders, veterans, caregivers, nonprofit leaders, teachers, humanitarians—can become extraordinarily good at appearing fine. They are often the people everyone else depends upon. That can make it very difficult for them to say, I need help. I think about suicide prevention through that wider lens. Long before someone reaches the most visible point of crisis, something may be disappearing mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Someone may continue running an organization, caring for a family, or serving a community while quietly running out of resources themselves. I know something about this personally. After my husband died, there were moments when I did not want to be here. I had to find my own way through that terrain. Years later, during the aftermath of the Las Vegas shooting, my own grief resurfaced. I had spent years learning about self-care and teaching it to other people. But I discovered another layer underneath all my competence and activity. I needed to learn how to receive care, too. If we want people to remain in the work for the long haul, we have to support the people doing the supporting. Why ACEP Matters to Me This is one reason ACEP has become so important in my life. ACEP gives me community. It gives me people with whom I can have conversations I don't get to have anywhere else. It gives me trusted resources and colleagues who understand this work from the inside. Through ACEP's Humanitarian Committee and our conferences, I have met people who became dear friends—and then became collaborators in doing good in the world. We support one another. We challenge one another. We remind one another to practice the very things we teach. And ACEP's humanitarian work has never been only about what one committee accomplishes. Its real power lies in what happens when someone gets an idea, finds a few kindred spirits, learns useful tools, and takes them home. One person mentors another. One project becomes another. One community develops its own capacity to respond. Eventually, we don't even know where all the ripples have traveled. That is a good thing. Start Where You Are So what would I say to someone who feels called to humanitarian work but doesn't know where to begin? Start where you are. Find something you genuinely care about. Find the people already doing the work and listen to them. Learn a few practices that can help people regulate stress and reconnect with themselves and one another. Make those practices simple and accessible. Find collaborators. Take care of yourself while you are doing it. And then give other people permission to take what works and make it their own. You do not have to do everything. You are not supposed to. Maybe your contribution is traveling to a community in crisis. Maybe it is supporting the people who do. Maybe it is mentoring one young practitioner, gathering veterans for coffee, teaching a breathing technique, checking on a caregiver, or simply believing in someone who has forgotten how to believe in themselves. Make it simple. Make it fun. Do what you're here to do. Then let the ripples travel. Because perhaps that is the deepest lesson humanitarian work has taught me: we are not here to rescue one another. We are here to build communities strong enough that we can care for one another. About the Author Amy Frost, MBA, MA Spiritual Psychology, is an educator, facilitator, trainer, coach, writer, and longtime humanitarian whose work has included veterans, military families, first responders, community servants, and those who support them. A longtime member of ACEP's Humanitarian Committee and ACEP's 2018 Humanitarian of the Year, Amy has spent decades developing community-based approaches to resilience, self-care, peer support, and humanitarian service. Image by qimono from Pixabay
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