“White fragility” – my journey exploring diversity and inclusion so far

Robert Schwarz • June 9, 2020

(by Robert Schwarz, PsyD, DCEP)


Preamble: I wrote the following blog several weeks ago, long before the current crisis. This blog is about my personal journey of coming to terms with diversity issues that had been instigated by ACEP’s Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) Initiative. Just so readers have the appropriate context, I have supported the D&I Initiative since its’ inception. Even though I already accepted the concept of systemic racism, I had no idea about the journey I was beginning.   


Last week, ACEP sent out an email discussing this issue. We received some responses acknowledging that the violence perpetrated against Mr Floyd was wrong, but questioning the existence of systemic racism. Perfect! This is the conversation that this country needs to have. This is the conversation that healing professionals need to have. This is the conversation that ACEP needs to have.


Conversations are by their nature interpersonal. However, we must also have an inward conversation with ourselves. You will see such a conversation in this blog. I had hoped my sharing my personal journey would be of service in having inward and interpersonal conversations. I had no idea we would be where we are today. I hope this may be of service to you in your sorting through your own feelings and reactions. – Robert Schwarz


“White fragility” – my journey exploring diversity and inclusion so far


A while back, my son gave me a book for the holidays entitled: White Fragility: Why it’s so hard for white people to talk about racism by Robin DiAngelo. He knew about the diversity and inclusion initiative that we have started at ACEP. He thought I might find it interesting and helpful. 


That might just have been the understatement of a decade. I found it to be deeply eye opening and revolutionary! So much so that I feel compelled to write about it in this blog. I want to write about it as much as I can from my own very early experiences in dealings with this material. ACEP has begun the journey to make the organization more inclusive and diverse, and we need to understand what that means for us. 


There is a statement that many of us use in the field of human change: “Name it to tame it.” Some months earlier, I had a felt experience of my own “white fragility”. I did not know it at the time. I wish I had known about this then. I am sure I would have had the fragility, but I suspect I might have handled it differently. But I get ahead of myself.


I want to focus on a few concepts that truly have blown my mind. As I was reading the book, I must confess that I found myself alternatively embracing/exploring the ideas being offered then resisting/disagreeing and arguing (in my head) about the very same ideas. I bring this up early on in this blog because I believe, and I think Ms. DiAngelo would agree, that this is perfectly normal and natural for a white person (and of course I am white). 


The first is the idea that white people take their experiences of being white in the West completely for granted, as completely normative, as the way things “just are.” 


DiAngelo eloquently makes the point that there is so much subtle socialization on so many levels that it is actually impossible for it to be any other way. To deny this is part of what she calls the difficulty that white people have in acknowledging racism in the culture.


The second idea that I had never really considered before is that racism is usually framed in a good/bad dynamic. Racism is bad. Not being a racist is good.


Now at first blush, you might be thinking, “Well, Yah!!!” But here is the problem. It’s all or nothing. What happens if a white person is given feedback that they have just engaged in behavior or language that is racist? What DiAngelo describes is that the white person, including and maybe especially liberal white people, will become defensive. It’s almost impossible not to become defensive once you accept the good/bad dynamic!!! I can totally relate. This is what happened to me again and again. Throughout the book Diangelo describes various ideas and thoughts as racist.


“I have those ideas and thoughts – What??? ” 


I am thinking, “Well I am not a racist!” 


“Obviously the solution must be that DiAngelo is in error – and let me tell you three reasons why.” 


“Oh, wait a minute – she predicted that I would think this very thought! Maybe I am being defensive.” (More on this prediction thing in a moment.)


The antidote to this defensiveness, is to:


1) Name it to tame it – the problem is framing racist thought and emotion patterns in a good/bad dichotomy.


2) Create a new, different frame for how to think about this. DiAngelo suggests things such as: 


a. All of us are socialized into the system of racism.

b. Being good or bad is not relevant.

c. Racism cannot be avoided.

d. Giving us white people feedback on our racism is risky for people of color so we can consider the feedback a sign of trust.


What I take from this, is that as a white person it is important to recognize that I am going to have a reaction and it will probably be defensive. I can recognize that it is natural that I have the reaction, and then I can begin to work with that reaction so it does not control me. 


I cannot stress enough the experience I had of reading this book and going into and out of a reactionary position. It really brought home to me how if this happens reading a book, it surely happens in real life, especially if you are trying to have any kind of real conversation about these issues. 


And this is as good a time as any to say that I don’t think this applies to just issues between blacks and whites. It applies to any version of dominant group versus marginalized group. We simply cannot easily escape our culturalization. 


One of the things that I found helpful and challenging was the distinction of seeing the world through the lens of being an individual versus the lens of a group. I (we) like to see myself (ourselves) as an individual. I have my experience and you have yours. From that place it is a lot easier to not see the influences of racism on one’s thinking. DiAngelo takes the perspective of a sociologist. From that place she makes predictions about what a single person (i.e., me) would say or think. And she was incredibly accurate. I like science, and here is a person making a thesis about a concept called “white fragility.” She makes predictions based on that theoretical construct and those predictions are very accurate. I can’t ignore that. And, as I have already said, reading this was not a dry intellectual exercise. If anything, I could feel different parts of my brain vying for control. 


It was like a boxing match. I could almost feel the announcer, “In one corner Mr. Limbic System and in the other corner, Mr. Frontal Lobes!”


So, what’s the point of all this? The point is that ACEP has embarked on a journey to be an organization that embraces inclusion and diversity. ACEP does not exist independent of the people in ACEP. So the people in ACEP need to be on a journey that embraces inclusion and diversity. This is a very interesting and challenging journey. I have to say, as I read this book, even though I was challenged, I was deeply engaged and excited. (By the way, there is a lot more to this book – I am just focusing on part if it here.)


We have just begun the process. Those of us who are white need to do things like read the book White Fragility and struggle with how it makes us feel. We need to recognize that it’s okay to be at the beginning of a journey rather than at the end. We need to take more steps along the way like engaging these issues with people in our organization.   


We need to apply our skills of mindfulness, presence, and energy psychology to deal with our own reactivity. This is a spiritual task. Like all spiritual tasks it is a challenge to our usual way of doing things. The possibilities for growth and change are enormous. I am sure I will have more to say about this. But that is where things stand in the journey so far. To be continued…


Author
Robert Schwarz, PsyD, DCEP has been a licensed psychologist for 30 years. Bob has trained therapists internationally on trauma treatment, panic and anxiety, energy psychology. For the last 12 years Bob has served as executive director for the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. He has organized over 25 conferences on energy psychology trauma treatment, Ericksonian hypnosis, brief therapy, that trained over 18,000 therapists. Bob also designed ACEP’s online program The Science of Energy Healing. He has authored 3 books: Tools for Transforming Trauma, PTSD: A Clinician’s Guide and We’re No fun Anymore as well as numerous articles and papers.


energypsych.org

By Lori Chortkoff Hops • October 14, 2026
December 1961 - September 2026 Personal reflections by Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP, Former ACEP President Shockingly, we lost a great one. Teacher extraordinaire. Multitalented healer. Introspective thinker. Generously hearted. Craig Weiner lived life with gusto, whether vibing with international creative expressions of formal and street art or cherishing exotic cuisine, deftly climbing rocky heights, or sunset kayaking with whales in the sound. Craig was ever curious for the next adventure, delighted with spontaneous encounters with new and familiar souls and animals, sounds and colors. Holding a razor-sharp memory, Craig could easily quote an apt phrase, whether common or obscure, at a moment's notice , highlighting one of his many areas of expertise or fascination. How strange indeed to be left with the echoes of silence his memory traces through our collective grief. Only months before his passing from the physical form, Craig and his beloved wife and partner, Alina Frank , were newly settling into their home in sunny Mexico, far from their home of many years in the lush wetlands of the Pacific Northwest. In true Craig style, he befriended many people right away, while sharing his antics with those at home through his active social media sites. Many relished his detailed narratives with videos from stunning desert, sea, mountain, and waters of the world. Craig greeted people with glee, with his trusted dog Bibi (aka Habibi Bear) in tow. In true Craig fashion, Bibi sometimes was carried and worn like a scarf, riding on the back of Craig's neck. Craig gave unceasingly from his soul for the well-being of all, leaving an immeasurable impact on the field of energy healing. His accomplishments are broad and deep, and can be found listed on his website . In his brief time with us, though he accomplished much, he left many dreams unrealized. It is up to us to find our way to extend what we loved best about Craig, and make it happen with him in mind. Beyond his vast curricula of knowledge and products and classes, I was most touched by Craig's unceasing commitment to excellence, deeply sharing authentically from his heart moments of pain and joy, his snappy sense of humor, and his infectious smile with a hearty laugh asking us to meet his mood with our own joy. Craig's life is honored with two memorial services, in his two homes, with beloved friends and family. And we will all be able to track Craig's eternal spirit when we hear the splash of sea life, see silver light dancing on the water, and feel the warmth of love in laughing eyes, no matter the species. You can learn more about Craig's life story and work in his own words through this podcast interview with me . If you wish to donate to a charity in Craig Weiner's name, his wife Alina Frank has kindly requested choosing Jovenes Adelante . Jóvenes Adelante AC is a Mexican Donataria Autorizada; JA is a 501 (c) (3) non profit. All financial contributions are tax deductible. About the Autor Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP is a licensed psychologist in Westlake Village, California, USA. She is certified in Comprehensive Energy Psychology and Logosynthesis. Lori is a past ACEP president and Reiki master. Learn more about Lori at www.drlorihops.com . Lori teaches online intuition classes and consultation. Check out her podcast Healing Tips from the Heart: Helpers, Healers and Guides.
By Dawn Eidelman • October 14, 2026
Widening the Circle: The Ripple Effect (Part 1 of 3) 
By Amy Frost • October 14, 2026
When people hear the words humanitarian work, they may imagine traveling across the world to respond to a war, natural disaster, or humanitarian crisis. That work matters enormously. But over many years of working with veterans, military families, first responders, community leaders, and the ACEP Humanitarian Committee, I have learned something equally important: You do not have to travel across the world to change the world. You can begin with the community right in front of you. I grew up in a military family. I was born on an Air Force base. My uncle, a Navy pilot, died in a plane crash when I was very young. Years later, my husband Tom died during Desert Storm, and the life I thought I had mapped out suddenly disappeared. At the time, I had a successful career with the Department of Defense. I had an MBA. I knew how to organize, manage, execute, and get things done. Grief didn't particularly care. Eventually, my own search for healing led me to earn a master's degree in spiritual psychology. Over time, what began as my own journey became a calling to serve veterans and their families—and, increasingly, the many people who spend their lives serving others. Build Community Before the Crisis One of the most important lessons I have learned about humanitarian work is surprisingly simple: Don't just run in to help. Build relationships first. Years ago, through ACEP's humanitarian work, Suzanne Connolly, Dr. Kristin Miller, and I became involved in developing what evolved into a Veteran-to-Veteran project in Las Vegas. We didn't simply arrive with a program and tell veterans what we thought they needed. We reached out to people already trusted within the veteran community—leaders connected with the VA, Nevada veterans' services, veteran groups, and other community organizations. We listened. We built relationships and earned their buy-in. Then we introduced tools from Thought Field Therapy and energy psychology that they could use themselves and share within the circles where they already had trust. My job was not to become the center of the system. My job was to help strengthen the system that was already there. Our final formal training took place in April 2017. Six months later, on October 1, Las Vegas experienced a devastating mass shooting.  Suddenly, the relationships we had spent years cultivating mattered in ways none of us could have anticipated. I didn't have to figure out how to reach an entire traumatized city. The network already existed. I could reach the leaders I knew, support them, and help them support their own communities. Build community before the crisis. When something happens, you won't be starting from zero. The Ripples Create More Ripples Today, I continue working with veterans and their families throughout Las Vegas. I support the Rebel Vets community at UNLV when they need me, and I facilitate a monthly gathering at the City of North Las Vegas Veterans & Community Resource Center. We deliberately call it Women's Fun Day . Why? Because if we called it Suicide Prevention, a lot of people who need connection might never walk through the door. Women veterans come, but so do spouses, adult children, caregivers, and community supporters. We talk. We laugh. We practice something simple—a breathing technique, tapping, another self-regulation tool. Sometimes I support them. Sometimes they support me. And then something wonderful happens: people take what they learn and carry it somewhere else. One veteran I've known for years is now in pastry school and mentoring younger people there. She is sharing some of the practices she has learned with the young people she encounters. Others have created simple “walk and talk” gatherings in local parks or brought self-care practices into coffee shops and community groups. This is how humanitarian work grows: the ripples create more ripples. It doesn't always require a large grant, a formal program, or an airplane ticket. Sometimes it begins with a walk. Sometimes with coffee. Sometimes with one person asking another person, How are you, really? Hope Providers Need Hope, Too There is another part of humanitarian work that I believe we need to talk about much more openly. I call it providing hope for the hope providers . The people who spend their lives helping others—clinicians, first responders, veterans, caregivers, nonprofit leaders, teachers, humanitarians—can become extraordinarily good at appearing fine. They are often the people everyone else depends upon. That can make it very difficult for them to say, I need help. I think about suicide prevention through that wider lens. Long before someone reaches the most visible point of crisis, something may be disappearing mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Someone may continue running an organization, caring for a family, or serving a community while quietly running out of resources themselves. I know something about this personally. After my husband died, there were moments when I did not want to be here. I had to find my own way through that terrain. Years later, during the aftermath of the Las Vegas shooting, my own grief resurfaced. I had spent years learning about self-care and teaching it to other people. But I discovered another layer underneath all my competence and activity. I needed to learn how to receive care, too. If we want people to remain in the work for the long haul, we have to support the people doing the supporting. Why ACEP Matters to Me This is one reason ACEP has become so important in my life. ACEP gives me community. It gives me people with whom I can have conversations I don't get to have anywhere else. It gives me trusted resources and colleagues who understand this work from the inside. Through ACEP's Humanitarian Committee and our conferences, I have met people who became dear friends—and then became collaborators in doing good in the world. We support one another. We challenge one another. We remind one another to practice the very things we teach. And ACEP's humanitarian work has never been only about what one committee accomplishes. Its real power lies in what happens when someone gets an idea, finds a few kindred spirits, learns useful tools, and takes them home. One person mentors another. One project becomes another. One community develops its own capacity to respond. Eventually, we don't even know where all the ripples have traveled. That is a good thing. Start Where You Are So what would I say to someone who feels called to humanitarian work but doesn't know where to begin? Start where you are. Find something you genuinely care about. Find the people already doing the work and listen to them. Learn a few practices that can help people regulate stress and reconnect with themselves and one another. Make those practices simple and accessible. Find collaborators. Take care of yourself while you are doing it. And then give other people permission to take what works and make it their own. You do not have to do everything. You are not supposed to. Maybe your contribution is traveling to a community in crisis. Maybe it is supporting the people who do. Maybe it is mentoring one young practitioner, gathering veterans for coffee, teaching a breathing technique, checking on a caregiver, or simply believing in someone who has forgotten how to believe in themselves. Make it simple. Make it fun. Do what you're here to do. Then let the ripples travel. Because perhaps that is the deepest lesson humanitarian work has taught me: we are not here to rescue one another. We are here to build communities strong enough that we can care for one another. About the Author Amy Frost, MBA, MA Spiritual Psychology, is an educator, facilitator, trainer, coach, writer, and longtime humanitarian whose work has included veterans, military families, first responders, community servants, and those who support them. A longtime member of ACEP's Humanitarian Committee and ACEP's 2018 Humanitarian of the Year, Amy has spent decades developing community-based approaches to resilience, self-care, peer support, and humanitarian service. Image by qimono from Pixabay
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